Imperfectly Yours Read online

  ​The older we got, the more we realized we were just best friends. We started acquiring more friends of our own. He dated my friends and I dated his friends. He worked through my group of girls and I worked through his group of guys. He never seemed phased and I, well, I hid my feelings if I wanted to continue to be his best friend. I always had a crush on Corey. He was fascinating and was always able to hold my interest.

  ​We fought all the time, daily actually. If he pissed me off, I would hide his shoes so he would have to walk home barefoot. Then my mother would chastise me until I came clean. She’d make me walk his cowboy boots down to his house and apologize. Those stupid cowboy boots. Every time his feet outgrew them, his mother would buy him a larger size.

  ​I didn’t know how I felt about seeing him again. I should be happy he’s home safe, shouldn’t I be? I had wanted him to talk to me all those years ago. I thought about him all the time. Now, now I was mad, but I didn’t really know why. I kept telling myself to turn the light off, it was in the past, but I thought about our encounter all afternoon, which soured my entire mood.

  ​Surely, I would go and talk to him when I got off my shift that evening. Work flew by and tips were even better than my Saturday night. I would have to find a new hiding spot for my tin. I didn’t trust hiding money in my parents’ house. Through their various arguments, I learned they were in credit card debt up to their eyeballs.

  ​From the outside looking in, you would think my parents lived the all-American dream. They had a nice house with a two-car garage and an in-ground swimming pool. They had a spectacular outdoor kitchen with an attached shower. They had three successful children, well, two successful children in their eyes, but I would get there soon. Truth be told, they were a total flop. Their marriage had crumbled many years ago when my mother was unfaithful, but my dad stayed because, well, maybe because she was all he ever knew. They got married young and had children young also. Divorce was long and expensive or so I’ve heard. Instead, they chose to raise their children in a completely unhealthy environment. The only thing they have taught me is who I never want to be.

  ​I dodged my mother’s interview by telling her I had an awful headache and headed straight to my room. I changed out of my restaurant uniform into something more comfortable; leggings and a tank top. When I arrived at the woodshop, the lights were off and the door was closed. I opened it and went inside, amazed by how much Corey had cleaned the place. All the tools that had been on the wall were now down and even the work benches had been dismantled, which made the place look huge. He really was making the woodshop into something beautiful and that made me so happy. This place deserved to shine.

  ​I shut off the light and closed the door, heading down the driveway to where Corey must be staying. It was an awfully big home for one person. I could imagine his mother became so lonely living there by herself all those years. She was so young when her husband died from an unspeakable scuba diving accident. The only thing my mother would tell me was that he was with his friend when it happened, who lived up the street at the time. The two of them built the woodshop together. I can’t imagine how one moves past watching their friend die.

  ​Anyway, Corey has no recollection of his father. I remember all those times growing up, he talked about him often. It must be weird to talk about someone you don’t even remember. He had one picture of himself with his father. He was up on his daddy’s shoulders. They were both smiling at the camera. I never understood how there could only be one picture of just the two of them. Corey held onto that picture like it was his lifeline when we were kids, bringing it everywhere he went.

  ​When I got to his house, the front porch light was on. I noticed a couple of vehicles in the driveway. Maybe it was his and his mother’s. My hand was just about to hit the doorbell when the door swung open and there was Corey walking towards me. We both jumped when we came face to face.

  ​“Caroline.”

  ​“Hey,” I said, as I saw a girl step behind Corey and smile at me.

  ​“We were just going to go out for a bite to eat. Did you want to come along?”

  ​“No, that’s okay. I’ll see you later,” I replied, turning to leave.

  ​“Well hey, do you want me to drive you home?”

  ​“I’ll walk.”

  ​“C’mon, it’s dark and it’s on my way. Are you sure?”

  ​I ignored Corey and kept walking. I knew they would eventually catch up to me, so I began to run. When I saw their headlights, I ducked behind the woodshop. I was so embarrassed showing up like that unannounced when he was obviously busy entertaining another female. What a joke! He said he needed friends. Clearly, he had already made one and it wasn’t me.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Corey

  I did a favor for my buddy by taking out his little sister. I told him I wasn’t interested in dating just yet, but he was convinced that’s what I needed to break the rut I had fallen into. I knew very well why I was in this rut. It was because all my friends had moved on and created a life of their own. They got married; all the weddings I missed. Some had children, all whom I have never met. I know it was my decision to join the army, I just never imagined this is what it would feel like coming back home. There was a going away party when I left and coming home, well there was absolutely nothing, not even my own mother.

  ​“Did you have fun tonight?” she asked, as I headed down my driveway. I wondered if I should be polite and invite her in or call it a night.

  ​“I did,” I replied, turning the slight corner and heading down the hill. I slowed by the woodshop, about to tell her my plans for it when I noticed a body slumped over the steps. I placed my truck in park and jumped out, telling her to stay.

  ​“Shit,” I mumbled to no one. It was Caroline, next to a pile of nips by her feet. I picked one up and read Raspberry Smirnoff on the label. There had to be at least ten of them. I went back to the truck.

  ​“Who is that?”

  ​“My neighbor.”

  ​“The girl from earlier tonight?”

  ​“Yes,” I replied, as I put my truck in reverse and backed up onto my driveway, heading towards the house.

  ​“Are you just going to leave her there?”

  ​“No, I just want to make sure you make it to your car safely. I’ll take care of her.”

  ​I knew she didn’t like this answer, but I couldn’t just leave Caroline outside, getting eaten by mosquitos and God only knows what else. What the hell was she doing anyway? She could have gone inside, although I guess I did get rid of her bed.

  ​Caroline; she was always down for doing whatever I wanted, which was fun in a friend, but took the fun out of wanting anything more. She liked to guy hop when we were in middle school, dated each kid for a week and then would cut them loose for no particular reason whatsoever. When I switched schools, she tried to get to my guy friends there as well, but I immediately shut that down. She wasn’t going to keep playing that game. I was tired of all these guys coming to me asking me about her, what her problem was with them. I wasn’t her middle man. I wasn’t about to try to get inside Caroline’s head.

  ​Our entire childhood was filled with fun and games, but when it came time for heart to hearts, she couldn’t do it. It was like she had no emotions. Sure, she was there when I cried about my dad, which was quite often growing up, but she would never talk about herself. I had to hear everything about her through everyone else, which was annoying since she was supposed to be my best friend.

  ​I cared about her. She knew me better than anyone when we were kids. I loved watching all the girls who had a crush on me squirm when they found out my best friend was a girl. Even more so when they found out she was my first kiss. If you had asked me who I was going to marry when I was ten, I would have told you Caroline. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss her when I transferred schools and made new friends. No other friendship quite compares to your first best friend, but like it or not, our worlds just took separa
te turns.

  ​ I said goodnight to June and unlocked my front door, heading inside to retrieve a blanket for Caroline. When I got to the woodshop, Caroline hadn’t moved a muscle. I climbed up to the top of the dumpster and spotted her bed right away. It was the last thing I had thrown in today. Where did she get this bed, anyway? I threw the bed frame and mattress back out of the dumpster. They landed next to sleeping Caroline who sat up and rubbed her eyes.

  ​“What are you doing?” she asked slurring her words.

  ​“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

  ​“Where’s your hot date? Please, don’t let me interrupt you,” she said trying to stand and fell back down.

  ​“Oh, like I could drive right past you and leave you out here. She left already, if you care.”

  ​“I really don’t.”

  ​“What is your problem?”

  ​“You, you’re my problem. You show up out of nowhere and ruin my life again.”

  ​“Again? First of all, this was my father’s workshop, which technically makes it mine, nowhere near yours. Second of all, ruining your life is a little dramatic, don’t you think?”

  ​I realized I was arguing with an intoxicated person and that was never a good idea.

  ​“Everything is on your watch,” she slurred on. “I’m just a bystander, a passerby. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You’ve always been selfish and you haven’t changed.”

  ​“Okay Caroline, you’re not making any sense. I took your bed out of the dumpster. I’ll put it back inside. Is that what you want? A place to stay?”

  ​“Don’t start doing me any favors now,” she said, trying to stand again. This time I caught her right before she fell. I swung her over my shoulder and brought her into the woodshop.

  ​“Stay here while I get your bed,” I growled, carefully placing her on the floor. I threw the metal frame through the door. It slid across the wooden floor landing right next to where she was sitting. I tossed the mattress next. It landed almost perfectly in place on top of the bedframe. I went to my truck and grabbed the blanket, annoyed. I wasn’t about to play her babysitter if that’s what she was hoping for.

  ​I helped her up and placed her on the bed.

  “Here,” I said, handing her the blanket. She snatched it out of my hand and used it as a pillow.

  ​“How noble of you,” she said.

  ​I slammed the door and got back into my truck, spinning my tires and throwing up dust. How dare she tell me I am selfish. I just gave the last four years of my life to my country! Four years fighting to keep our freedom. Who the hell did she think she was?

  ​I was just about to my house when I put my truck in reverse and backed all the way down to the shop. I was going to give her a piece of my mind. When I flung the door open, she was fast asleep snoring on the floor. I laughed to myself. How did she manage to already fall out of bed? Damn, she was pretty crocked. I picked her up again and put her back onto the bed, placing a blanket on top of her.

  Irritating woman she was, always had been. There wasn’t a single day in my childhood I couldn’t remember having the best day of my life with her and then ending it with a heated argument. I shut off the light and closed the door. I threw all the empty nip containers into the dumpster and headed back to the house.

  ​I laid awake all night thinking about her, wondering if I should go down there and make sure she was okay. She was fine. After all, she said she did this every summer for four years. I can’t imagine someone’s home life was so bad they had a secret hiding spot they slept in. Why the woodshop? It was dirty…filthy, actually. Surely, her room at home was much cleaner. I remember thinking her parents were extraordinary people growing up. Caroline used to adore them, I wondered what had changed. I only wish they were my own as a child.

  ​When I awoke the next morning, I ate breakfast, showered and got dressed. I headed to the woodshop curious as to what I would find, but when I walked in, Caroline was gone. The blanket was folded perfectly and placed on the bed. I looked around for a note or something, anything from her, but there was nothing. I walked to the top of the hill where I could see her driveway, but nobody was home.

  ​Ugh, why was I letting her get underneath my skin? I was always infatuated with her, made her the center of my world. I would go anywhere if Caroline was going, she was like my safety blanket growing up. I wasn’t going to do that again. I threw myself into my plans for the woodshop, working on the bathroom first. I kept the toilet in its original spot and just put up four surrounding walls so the toilet was no longer freestanding in the center of the room. What was my dad thinking? Maybe he had plans for a bathroom too, but died before he could build it.

  ​A few days had gone by and I still hadn’t seen Caroline. I worked late each night, hoping she would come by. Maybe I did still care about her. I wanted to know more about her, if she would ever open up. I stepped outside to enjoy my cigarette in the cool summer night when I heard a yell. Maybe it was a laugh. I couldn’t quite make out what I heard. I walked to the top of the hill and peered through the trees. The spotlight on the top of Caroline’s house was on. I could see Caroline stumbling with two men, one on each arm. I walked closer to her house and stopped when I got to the edge of her lawn. She was sitting on her side steps now.

  ​“How about a kiss?” one guy asked and leaned in and kissed her. When he let go, she started giggling.

  ​“How about a kiss for my friend too?” The other guy leaned in and kissed her. The guy standing up unzipped his pants. I crept closer to them until I was just a few feet away, behind a tree.

  ​“Want to show us what you can do with that pretty little mouth of yours?”

  ​“No, I don’t think she does,” I said, walking out from behind the tree and into the light.

  ​“Who the hell are you?” the shorter guy asked.

  ​“You’re going to find out if you don’t get the fuck out of here.”

  ​“You want to join our rendezvous, tough guy? I think your girl here is ready,” the other man said smiling.

  ​“I would,” I replied, punching him in the eye. I wound up and punched the other one in his jaw. When I backed up, they were both on the ground. They stood up simultaneously and charged at me, knocking me to the ground. I took a blow right to the nose. I shifted about on the ground, but both of them had me pinned.

  ​“What is all this?” I heard a voice shriek. The two men jumped off me.

  ​“Just dropping your daughter off. She drank a little too much ma’am and we wanted to make sure she made it home safely,” the taller guy explained.

  ​“Yeah, sure,” I mumbled.

  ​“Oh, thank you so much boys. My Caroline, she’s my black sheep of the family.”

  ​The men got into their vehicle and left.

  ​“Hi, Mrs. Fitzpatrick. It’s me, Corey. Just making sure Caroline is okay.” I wiped at my nose and could feel the blood dripping down. I tried to shield my face from Caroline’s mom. I glanced at Caroline, her head was resting on the top step barely able to keep her eyes open.

  ​“She’s never going to be okay. She’s a mess, Corey. A shameful mess,” her mother said, stepping outside onto the side porch and down the two steps to Caroline.

  “Let’s go. You look like a fool! Always making our family look bad.” Caroline shrugged her off. “Fine, Caroline. Stay out here. I don’t care anymore!” she said frustrated and headed back inside. “Always a disappointment. You’ll stay away from her if you know what’s best for you,” she called over her shoulder.

  ​I watched her go inside. Then I threw Caroline over my shoulder and walked back down to my shop. I wasn’t foolish enough to take her inside the woodshop this time. I gently placed her in the passenger seat of my truck. I would take her inside my house and question her in the morning. I was going to figure out what was going on in her head. She graduated top of her class and now she’s acting like a groupie; a careless sloppy drunk.

  ​After Caro
line was situated, I headed to the bathroom to check the damage on my face. “Sucker hits like a girl,” I said, washing the blood off using a washcloth.

  ​I fell asleep watching Caroline sleep in my bed. I still had twin beds in my childhood bedroom because I had sleepovers so often, my mother bought me a second bed. Caroline twitched a lot. Then, she began snoring. It felt like I had just fallen asleep when her phone starting making noise. I turned over and watched her sit up and look around. Her eyes stopped when they landed on me.

  “Your room,” she said, softly.

  “Yeah.”

  “It looks the same. Nothing has changed.”

  “Well if I like it, then why change it?”

  “I never met anyone so obsessed with the solar system. All these posters and your giant mobile. You should have gotten a job doing something in astronomy.”

  “I think I became obsessed after something my mom said when I was a kid. She told me my dad was up in the sky looking down on me. I studied everything in the sky from that day on. Maybe he was up there, but I’ve never found him.”

  “Wait, how did I get here?” she asked with a concerned look etched across her face.

  ​I sat up facing her.

  ​“Corey, your nose.”

  ​“Yeah, I cleaned it up the best I could last night.”

  ​“What the hell happened? Did I do that?”

  ​“What do you remember?”

  ​“Nothing. I went out to the bar after work. I think I met a couple of my brother’s old friends from high school. I didn’t know he went to high school with them, but then we started talking…”

  ​She rubbed her temples like she had a headache.