Imperfectly Yours Read online

  ​“Nothing, I’m just an unpleasant person who wants to live a miserable life,” I said, grabbing two slices of bread and a water before heading up to my room. I wasn’t going to go on this little day away trip anymore. Screw him and his friend. They were both jerks!

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Corey

  I rolled out of bed first thing in the morning and grabbed some boards of cedar at the local hardware store. I was going to make some garden boxes. I stopped in at a landscape company on my ride home and ordered a few yards of dirt. The least I could do was build a garden for Caroline, it’d be about the only way I would ever get her to talk to me again.

  ​I couldn’t believe what Devin said right in front of her; what an asshole. I don’t think he was trying to be crude, at least I hope not, but I knew for sure that’s the way Caroline took it. It seemed like just when we were on the right page, someone or something was always derailing our plans to become friends again. The look on her face before she walked out, I knew that look well. She was hurt and I hated that. I just about knocked Devin in the face after she left. He didn’t see the issue I had with his big mouth.

  ​I spent all morning putting the boxes together and just before I finished, the load of dirt I ordered arrived. I quickly shoveled it into the boxes and checked the time. I wanted to plant the seeds, but each packet read something different with spacing and the depth of the seed. I had to catch Caroline before she left for work.

  ​I walked to the hill and looked through the trees to the driveway. Just her car was there. I went to the side door and knocked. After a minute, she came to the door.

  ​“What?” she asked.

  ​“Come with me. I have something I want to show you.”

  ​“No. You’re an ass.”

  ​“It’s a surprise, something I made for you. C’mon!”

  ​“No. I can’t be late for work.”

  ​“It’ll only take a minute, I promise…please.”

  ​“Fine.”

  ​“Close your eyes.”

  ​“Right now?”

  ​“No. I guess you can walk to the top of the hill, but then close your eyes. Okay?”

  ​“Fine, whatever.”

  ​“You’re so angry with me all the time,” I said. She walked with her head hung low, staring at the ground. She was always good at pouting and I never quite knew what to say to her to snap her out of it. Maybe my surprise will help.

  ​“Okay, close them.”

  ​“Closed,” she said, with her eyes wide open. She surely was a pain in my butt.

  ​“Fine, have it your way,” I said, wrapping my hands around her and nudging her forward down my driveway.

  ​“I thought you’d never touch me.”

  ​“Oh, quiet, Caroline! I was just telling him what he wanted to hear. He was all about you the moment he laid eyes on you. You’re not mine. You’re not off limits.”

  ​“You tell him he can have me and you tell me to stay away from him. Whose side are you on?”

  ​“Yours. I’m on your side,” I said, trying not to laugh at the fact that she was arguing with me while walking completely blindfolded.

  ​“You don’t make me feel that way at all. Your actions and your words are completely different.”

  ​I took my hands off her eyes to reveal my morning’s work.

  ​“It’s a work in progress. I still have to run a water line for a hose…” She leaped into my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist.

  ​“Thank you,” she breathed into my ear.

  ​“It’s just a garden, Caroline.”

  ​“I have always wanted a garden, one I could call my own. Grow my own vegetables and pick them when I want to. This is perfect!” she said, hugging me harder.

  ​“Well it’s not finished. I haven’t even planted the seeds because I need your help.”

  ​“Perfect I tell you,” she said, letting go of me and looking at it again. “I truly love it.” She turned to me. “I have to go. I will help you with anything later. I’m late for work now.”

  I watched her sprint to the top of the hill and dash into the path until she was no longer in sight. I couldn’t believe how happy such little efforts had made her. She always bugged her dad for a garden growing up, but he worked two and three jobs so he was never home. He tried planting a strawberry patch for her, but it was too invasive, so he ripped it all out the following year.

  ​I think this is the first time I have ever looked at Caroline in a different light. I liked her. I didn’t want to like her, she was a mess. She looked unkept most of the time, like I just wanted to pay some fashion designer to give her a complete makeover. She never paid any attention to her hair or clothes. She was such a tomboy, which was never appealing to me. She always wanted to hang with the guys and compete to be better than them. I went after the girly girls who took care of themselves, the ones who wore nice clothes and took pride in the way they presented themselves. Caroline was anything but presentable.

  ​When Friday night rolled around, we had the seeds planted, a fence to keep the animals out and running water. Caroline had picked up some cow manure with my truck. It smelled awful, but she promised it would help the vegetables grow.

  ​“You want to leave tonight?” I asked her when she stopped by the workshop after her shift.

  ​“I’m game. I have to be back Sunday; my shift starts at noon.”

  ​“I can do that. Go pack your bag and I’ll meet you back here in fifteen.”

  ​“Okay.”

  ​When I returned, Caroline was standing there looking at our garden. “I really love this, even if nothing grows. It’s beautiful.”

  ​“Something better grow after all that effort!”

  ​We hopped into my truck and headed toward Route 3 North. We always talked about the bear show in New Hampshire. It was for little kids, but I think Caroline would still enjoy herself. After a couple hours, we arrived at the campground. I had made reservations earlier in the day, hoping Caroline would agree to leave early.

  ​“Where are we?” she asked.

  ​“Some campground close to where we’re going tomorrow.”

  ​“I mean, it’s late, are they going to let us stay here?”

  ​“Yeah, I called ahead.”

  ​“You presumptuous brat!” she said, trying her best to hide her grin. “You knew all along you wanted to leave tonight when you told me Saturday morning.”

  ​“Well I didn’t want to spend all Saturday traveling. How do you feel about tents?” I asked smirking.

  ​She cracked up laughing. “Seriously? This was your plan?”

  ​“It’s a good plan. You’ll see.”

  ​“Setting up a tent in the dark? Amateur move. You do know everyone in the campground is probably sleeping.”

  ​We rode through the gates, stopping at the office so I could check us in. I returned with a pamphlet telling us what site we were assigned to.

  ​“Sight fourteen,” I said.

  ​“My favorite number.”

  ​“Oh yeah, why is that?”

  ​“I have no idea,” she replied smiling.

  ​I made quick work of the tent. I had taken down and set up tents all the time in the army, considering our base moved constantly. Caroline watched me the entire time. I think I even saw her lips mouth the word “wow.” It didn’t take much to impress her. We threw all the blankets and pillows in and set up as quietly as we could. There were a few people still up and about, but for the most part, everyone was sleeping.

  ​“Can I shut the lantern off?” I asked.

  ​“I didn’t brush my teeth.”

  ​“You’re fine for one night.”

  ​“Can’t you just come with me to the bathrooms?”

  ​“I don’t know where they are. I left the map in my truck. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

  ​“I’m going to have really bad morning breath.”

  ​“Don’t worry. I won’t be kissing yo
u.”

  ​“Oh, right,” she said, laying down and turning away from me. “That would involve touching me and we both know you can never do that.”

  ​I ignored her comment. I knew she was fishing for another argument, so I just let it go. I was exhausted from the week and found myself fading quickly.

  ****

  ​I jolted out of sleep, sweating profusely.

  ​“Corey…Corey, what is it?”

  ​“Shit! Just a bad dream. Did I wake you?”

  ​“Hell right, you did. You were thrashing all about. I thought you were having a seizure.”

  ​“No,” I said, trying to shake off the bad vibes. “Those nightmares are so vivid sometimes. Bullets flying by my head. Go back to sleep, sorry,” I said, rolling over and facing away from her.

  I felt her arm clasp around my waist and hold me tight. The physical contact was unfamiliar. It wasn’t awkward, I just hadn’t had any in years. In fact, I couldn’t even remember the last time I was held. It felt nice. I placed my hand over hers and went back to sleep.

  ​I awoke again to Caroline unzipping the tent and stepping out. I heard the door to my truck open. I knew exactly where she was going, to brush her teeth. I sat up and looked around the tent. It said the maximum was three people, but it barely fit us. I checked my cellphone, just after eight o’clock. I can’t remember the last time I had slept that well after a nightmare. I usually tossed and turned all night. I always had military nightmares, usually the same ones too. A trader had given up our location, we were under attack and I knew there was no way out. I held my breath in my dream and when I woke I would be gasping for air.

  ​When Caroline didn’t return right away, I walked to the office and bought myself a coffee, along with an orange juice for Caroline. I put the tailgate of my truck down and sat on the back, inhaling the beautiful air and being thankful I was no longer in combat. I watched Caroline emerge from the bathroom wearing a nice pink shirt and denim shorts. She cleaned up nice.

  ​“Wow, no pajamas today?”

  ​“That’s not fair. I usually see you when I’m trying to sleep.”

  ​“Well, you look good. Are you wearing makeup for me?”

  ​“Not for you, for me. I never do because I get hit on at work or the gas station, anywhere really.”

  ​“Devin hit on you at work. Were you wearing makeup then?”

  “No.”

  “Guess your plan didn’t pan out, huh?”

  ​ “Now you see my dilemma.”

  ​“I mean, isn’t it a compliment when a guy hits on you?” I asked.

  ​“No, it’s annoying. I don’t want to feel like I’m just a piece of ass because I know right then they fancy me for my looks, not my personality.”

  ​“You’re a glass half empty, aren’t you?”

  ​“No, I’m very full and thank you for this full bottle of orange juice.” She snatched the OJ off the tailgate and drank it. I watched her, grinning to myself. She truly was a piece of work. Most girls love being hit on; they ate it up.

  ​“Can I take you to breakfast?” I asked. “I know you don’t eat breakfast, but I do and I’m starving.”

  ​“Sure.”

  ​I grabbed my bag, changing my shirt and putting on some deodorant. I watched Caroline greedily eyeing my bare chest and wondered what she was thinking.

  ​“Remember that time, the I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?” she asked.

  ​“Yeah, how could I forget? You totally fell for that.”

  ​“I didn’t even know what I was looking at. It was like a miniature hot dog. I had never seen anything quite like it.”

  I burst out laughing.

  “I had no idea why you wanted to look at what I had. Where did you even learn such a thing at that age?” she asked.

  ​ “Probably some movie. My sister and her friends would play R rated movies whenever my mom wasn’t home. I used to hide on the stairs and watch them too. You can learn a lot from movies.”

  ****

  ​When we got to the restaurant, I ordered two Eggs Benedict. If she didn’t eat, I’d eat hers too.

  ​“Are you ordering for me?" she asked.

  ​“You’re too skinny, gain some weight.”

  ​“I’ve always been skinny, what about you? You’re like an incredible hulk now.”

  ​“That’s all there was to do in the army, sit and wait and work out.”

  ​“I’ve never had Eggs Benedict.”

  ​“You’ll like it. At least try it for me,” I said, smiling at her. It was so weird sitting across the table from her. If you had told me a month ago this is where I would be, I’d call you a liar. Now there was no place else I’d rather be. There is something about getting out of town, not knowing anybody around, that was liberating.

  ​She dug into her meal, clearing her plate before I cleared mine.

  ​“Look at you, Ms. I Don’t Eat Breakfast.”

  ​“I think I found my new favorite breakfast meal.”

  ​“Yeah?”

  ​“Yeah,” she replied, as the waitress brought us our check. Caroline insisted on paying and I let her, knowing if I didn’t, there would be an argument. I’m not sure if Caroline liked to argue in general or if she just liked to argue with me. I usually gave it back. Anyone else would probably just throw in the towel or let it go.

  ​We were on our way to Clark’s Trading Post. I was excited to see what she would say. When we arrived, she knew exactly where we were, but I had never been before. She vacationed here once with her family. My family, if you could even call us that, never vacationed.

  ​“Wow, this looks so different from when I was a child.”

  ​“Yeah, their website said they completely revamped the place a few years back.”

  ​“You remembered,” she said.

  ​“Oh yeah, we were going to work here training the bears.”

  ​“Oh my gosh, we were such losers.”

  ​“Yeah right, we were cool, bad ass bear training cool,” I said.

  ​“C’mon, let’s go!”

  ​We made our way across the street from the parking lot and bought two tickets to get in. We each received a stamp on our hand. I felt like a kid again. I read about the attractions and looked over the map. We still had an hour until the bear show started. Everyone was hopping onto this train right at the entrance, so I grabbed Caroline and hopped aboard. We were the last ones on before they fired the engine. We took our seats and the locomotive started moving on the tracks. We were surrounded by families, so I felt slightly out of place.

  ​The narrator who stood in the very back of the last locomotive told a story about a Wolfman who lived in the woods, working on his secret mining operation. The Wolfman came out of nowhere, yielding a gun and riding on an old beat up car pretending to chase the train. The kids roared with excitement and laughter at the man’s antics. When we got to the end of the tracks, the train shifted in reverse and went back the way we came. The old man came out again, this time on foot and pointed his gun at the train. He fired one, two, three shots. I closed my eyes, the image of the man pointing a gun at me brought me back to a very dark memory in my past. I felt my hands clam up.

  ​“What are you doing, you okay?” Caroline asked. I could hear the worry in her voice.

  ​“Yeah, I got something in my eye,” I lied, trying to shake it off. What the hell is the matter with me? It was pretend for Christ’s sake, this wasn’t real. It wasn’t a real gun! Somehow it just touched too close to home. When I jumped off, I instantly felt relieved.

  Next, we headed to this house called Merlin’s Mansion and read the sign on the door that told us to wait outside. Below it was another sign warning people of claustrophobia, motion sickness, epilepsy and darkness. I started to wonder if coming here was a good idea. Since when did I become such a pansy?

  After a moment, a young chubby girl came out, telling us a story about a mystical wizard with magical powers that built the mans
ion. His name was Merlin. We were seated in chairs and then the lights went out. The room started to spin, walls changing and it felt like I was going upside down, but I never actually went upside down. The feeling was trippy. Caroline threw her head back laughing and I couldn’t help but laugh too.

  ​I pointed out a giant green snake water slide to Caroline after we exited the mansion. She was all in. People were going down in their clothes, so we threw our shoes off and stood in line. We sat together on the raft, but Caroline made me sit in front of her. We glided down hollering and screaming when it went pitch black in the tunnel. We flew through the snake’s mouth and into the water. I jumped up quickly before I got wet and looked back at a soaked Caroline. I held out my hand and pulled her up.

  ​“Did you even get wet?”

  ​“No, not at all. Guess you should have ridden in the front, huh?”

  ​“How’s that even possible?” she asked, looking pissed. I couldn’t help but laugh at her pout.

  ​“Oh stop it. Let’s sit here and watch other people get wet. You’ll dry off,” I told her.

  ​“Let me put wet dental floss up your butt and have you walk around.”

  ​Wet dental floss? Oh…a thong.

  ​“Why are you wearing a thong to begin with?”

  ​“That’s all I wear if you really need to know.”

  ​“I don’t, keep that wet floss talk to yourself. Want my boxers?”

  ​“Gross, you never showered this morning.”

  ​I cracked up laughing. We watched the other riders for a few minutes and then grabbed some ice cream before we watched the black bear show. The show was pretty good, but mostly geared towards kids. We walked through the museum, checking out all the antiques. There were old steam and gas engines. There was an abundant amount of historic electrical and mechanical parts along with household appliances on display. I watched Caroline’s fascination as she carefully peered through the glass at each and every piece. That was probably my favorite part and learning the story of Clark’s Trading Post. I loved history.

  ​When we left, we grabbed some food to go and took it to this random river on the side of the road. That’s what I loved about the White Mountains, there were rivers running along just about every road you traveled.